


Enemy Mine

by moth2fic



Category: Stargate Atlantis
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Eventual Happy Ending, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-04
Updated: 2020-09-04
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:41:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 19,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26286616
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/moth2fic/pseuds/moth2fic
Summary: The Gift of Life bestowed on John by Todd during their escape from Kolya has surprising qualities.
Relationships: John Sheppard/Todd the Wraith
Comments: 14
Kudos: 62
Collections: Fandom Trumps Hate 2020





	1. Into the woods

**Author's Note:**

  * For [rudigersmooch](https://archiveofourown.org/users/rudigersmooch/gifts).



> Many thanks to my wonderful beta, Fledhyris. Any remaining errors of plot or language are entirely my own fault. I hope I've met the requirements of the person who 'won' my writing in the FTH auction and that they enjoy the story.

It seemed strange, emerging from the air shaft into dark woods. John wasn’t sure what he had expected. A city street? A military complex? At any rate, somewhere at once more civilised and more dangerous. Instead, here they were, surrounded by trees and night. He hadn’t known what hour it was; his sense of time, usually near-perfect, had been knocked awry by his imprisonment and the Wraith’s feeding. However, even his honed time-senses would not necessarily have told him when darkness fell on a strange planet. The darkness was at once disorienting and comforting. The same, he thought, applied to the trees, which could shelter a host of hostile soldiers but at the same time could shield him and his companion from view. 

He looked at the Wraith. There was enough light from the planet’s moon and some remaining tinge of daylight to show him the pale luminous face of his – what? His fellow escapee, certainly. His co-conspirator, in a sense. His companion? Only in the most elementary sense that they were here together. The trees might be needed to hide him from the Wraith as much as from Kolya’s men.

The Wraith looked back, a kind of amusement glinting in its eyes. In his eyes, John corrected himself in his thoughts. He should not equate the Wraith with a dumb beast; he should remember that this was an extremely intelligent adversary. 

‘We really should leave. They will check this exit point straight away.’ The Wraith spoke almost gently, as if to a child. It spoke quietly, too. John hoped there were no Genii listening. But they had to communicate somehow and the Wraith would not have command over human military gestures any more than John could use Wraith hand signals.

‘We could split up,’ he suggested. It would leave him wondering where the creature was, but perhaps that would be better than knowing it was close to him at all times. 

‘Not until we reach the Stargate,’ came the reminder. ‘And perhaps not then. They will guard the gate.’

‘But with two of us we have a chance.’ John acknowledged the logic of the plan, a plan made so tenuously in the prison, with little information and even less trust. 

‘A chance, yes, and one that we did not have before. You have given me a chance, John Sheppard.’ There was a questioning tone to the Wraith’s voice, but John thought the question, if it was one, was addressed not to him but to the Wraith itself. He shivered. There was no knowing what kind of chance was meant.

‘We have the guns we took,’ John said, and the Wraith nodded. It, or he headed off into the shadow of the trees. John followed.   
It must, he thought, be male. It couldn’t be a queen because a queen would not be here, a prisoner of the Genii. A queen would not leave her hive, would not have been captured. A queen could be killed, he knew all too well, but not separated from her people. So this Wraith – already in his mind he was calling it ‘his’ Wraith – must be male. And he should think of ‘his’ Wraith as ‘he’. He argued with himself as he made his way along a trail through the trees. It occurred to him that the trail was new, made by the Wraith pushing tall weeds and young saplings aside. There were, it seemed, no animals of any size here. They crossed no other trails, anyway. There might be birds.

As if in answer to his thought, there was a noise. It was almost, but not quite, a hoot. It reminded him of an owl but ended on a whistling note that was not owl-like in the least. The Wraith stopped to listen, his head raised, his nostrils widened as if to catch some scent of whatever was making the sound. 

There was an answering hoot-whistle from another direction, but no sign of the bird (if it was a bird). 

‘Do you think...?’ They both spoke at once, both whispering, and John gestured for the Wraith to continue.

‘Do you think it is a bird, or a signal from one of the guards?’

‘Exactly what I was going to ask, and obviously, I have no more idea than you do.’ John sighed. 

‘You might have more idea. You are human, like them.’

‘Some humans can imitate bird calls so well that even the birds are deceived.’ John thought about people on earth using bird and animal calls to hunt. ‘Can’t Wraith do that? After all, you can cause your victims to see things that aren’t there.’ He looked again at the trees. Could they be a hallucination? Unlikely. He didn’t think the Wraith could conjure up a whole forest. 

‘I do not think Wraith are good at sounds.’ The Wraith spoke slowly, as though he had had to consider his answer carefully. 

‘You speak our language.’

‘We have learnt that over centuries. We have never needed to pretend to be birds.’

As the Wraith spoke, a ball of what John could only describe as fluff plopped onto the path from a branch. It hoot-whistled softly. Almost immediately, a larger fluff ball plopped down beside it and began to nudge it. Or perhaps it was grooming it. At any rate, the smaller ball seemed to become slightly smoother then both extended wings a bit like those of bats, leathery and clawed.   
Together the hoot-whistlers took flight and disappeared into the trees.

‘I suppose that answers our first question,’ said John, his voice normal again though still quiet. The Wraith nodded. 

They carried on, sometimes swerving to avoid larger trees but mostly heading in a straight line. 

‘Where are your friends, John Sheppard?’ The Wraith’s voice sounded weaker and less confident than when they had left the prison.

‘They’ll be on their way.’ John hoped he sounded as certain as he felt. He knew they would be looking for him, especially if they knew Kolya no longer had him. In the case of his team, he thought they’d be looking anyway. But even if their search was restricted to this area, there was still a lot of ground to cover.

‘You are very sure.’ The Wraith sounded tired and disbelieving. ‘You have a lot of certainties, John Sheppard. Your friends, your abilities, your knowledge.’

‘My friends, yes. We have a motto: Leave no man behind. It was a motto for me when I was on my home planet and I taught it to my team here. They will come for me. I know that.’

‘You know nothing, John Sheppard. You only hope.’ And, the voice implied but didn’t say, hope was a fast disappearing commodity.

John felt irritated, as much by the constant use of his name as by the lack of faith. Of course, the Wraith didn’t know his team. But since they’d escaped the Genii, for now, the Wraith should at least trust him a little.

‘You keep calling me John Sheppard,’ he said now.

‘Is that not your name?’

‘It is, but most people would just call me John or Sheppard, not both together. That’s the written form for official things.’

‘Which would you prefer, then?’

John sighed, not for the first time. ‘John, I suppose,’ he said. If he was going to die in this godforsaken wood on this godforsaken planet then at least he could do so in the company of someone who called him by his name. ‘But what should I call you?’ 

There was a sound. A gurgling, gargling sound. John didn’t think he could reproduce it accurately and was not anxious to try, fail, and give offence. 

Silence, then the sound was repeated. ‘You asked for my name,’ said the Wraith, patiently.

‘I did,’ said John, ‘but I admit I thought I’d be able to say it. I could give you a name – a name between us – a name you could answer to, to me. That’s if you wanted me to. You seem to like using names.’ Maybe a name would help him regard the Wraith as less of an enemy and more of a companion. Maybe, one corner of his mind muttered, that would lead to him being careless in its company. But somehow he wanted companionship in this place.

‘You may name me,’ came the reply. ‘I may answer to the name you give me and I may not. We shall see. I always answer to: ‘[gargled sound]’, but if you cannot say it, you cannot.’ 

John thought. ‘Todd,’ he said at last. 

‘Why?’

‘Why not? But that’s the short answer. The long one is that I knew someone on my home planet who was as pale as you. An albino.’

‘What is an albino?’

‘A human with no pigment. Their skin and their hair are white, like yours.’

‘So you might name any Wraith ‘Todd’.’ He sounded disappointed.

‘No. I liked the original Todd. He was a companion. So it suits you. I wouldn't use the name for an enemy.’

‘You no longer see me as an enemy?’

‘Not until we reach the Stargate,’ John said.

‘Then I am Todd until we reach the Stargate. And perhaps beyond,’ came the reply.


	2. You know nothing, John Sheppard

It was fairly obvious that Todd was failing. He had fed on the guards they had overpowered during their escape but they had been travelling for some time and had, besides, expended a lot of energy in their bid for freedom. Now, he stumbled and occasionally they had to rest. They had liberated radios as well as guns and they heard Kolya and his men discussing the situation. The gate, it seemed, was the focus of their attention. 

‘So even if we get there, there could be too many,’ Todd said.

‘If?’ John heard the worry in that word. ‘You aren’t sure where it is, are you?’

‘Not certain, no. It has been a long time since I was out here on the surface of the planet. However, John, I have you to thank for letting me see the stars again.’

They had come to a gap in the trees and both looked up. There were unknown stars, or at least stars in unknown configurations, sparkling against a deep purplish blue. 

‘The stars won’t do you much good if we can’t get off this blasted world,’ said John, but Todd just shrugged.

‘At least I have seen the open sky,’ he said.

He stumbled again, and made a sound that John took to be a combination of frustration and perhaps pain. 

‘Are you weak from being caged for so long?’ he asked. ‘Maybe I could help to support you.’

‘You would do that?’ Todd sounded surprised. ‘Even though at least half my weakness is due to hunger?’

‘But you fed on the guards.’

‘I was being systematically starved to force me to feed on prisoners. Even what I took from you and then from them did not adequately replenish my strength. Now I need to feed again. And before you ask, John, I will not feed from you again voluntarily. You have given me this chance and I would not repay you in such a way.’

Again, John homed in on one word. ‘Voluntarily?’ he said. ‘Do you mean that if I was close and you became even more desperate you wouldn’t be able to exercise control?’

That, John Sheppard, is exactly what I mean, but I am weak, so stay away from me and all will be well.’ He fell to his knees. ‘In fact, leave me. Get yourself to the Stargate and your friends. Who knows? They could be there to greet you.’

‘You’ve forgotten,’ said John, ‘that we leave no man behind.’

‘And you seem to have forgotten that I am not a man.’ 

‘We include women, and we include other aliens who aren’t human. We mean the word to cover all our team mates or companions.’

‘So we are companions?’

‘Yes.’ At the moment he said it, John knew he meant it. This Wraith, this alien creature, was indeed his companion, and he had no intention of leaving him behind. ‘And my people,’ he continued, ‘will be at the gate or near it.’ He hoped he had convinced Todd.

‘If you are so loyal, then you are more like the Wraith than we knew.’

‘I’m not sure that’s a compliment, Todd.’

‘Believe me, John, it is.’

‘I thought we had nothing in common with the Wraith.’

‘You thought. Thinking is not knowing.’

‘I thought I knew.’

‘You know nothing, John Sheppard. I have told you that once and I tell you again.’

John took a step towards Todd, intending to help him to stand. He hesitated at the hungry gleam in the Wraith’s eyes. This, he reminded himself, was an alpha predator. Would he offer this kind of help to a tiger? He thought about the fables involving help given to lions and suchlike. He thought about leaving Todd. He thought about helping him. All this ran through his mind quickly, like a film on fast forward, and somehow he ended up taking another step forward but his courage (or idiocy) and his innate tendency to take risks were overtaken by events.

‘I will feed, but only enough to let me attack the group who are even now approaching,’ said Todd, reaching forward. Before John could react Todd’s open palm slammed onto his neck. He felt his life draining but even as he prepared for death Todd turned away, standing now, and jumped into a tree beside them. Jumped, although mere minutes earlier he could barely walk. 

Two guards came into the clearing, talking. If they’d been John’s men he’d have torn a strip off them for their sloppiness and lack of attention. As it was, he offered a quick prayer of thanks to the universe that Kolya’s training was so perfunctory. They had not even seen John when Todd leapt down. They were dispatched quickly, drained without pity. Then Todd looked at John and gave what looked for all the world like a tentative smile. 

‘You are old, John Sheppard,’ he said, ‘but do not be concerned. I can reverse the process.’

John didn’t have time to question him. At that moment Rodney, Ronon and Teyla, followed by a couple of marines, came into the clearing from the other direction. Before John could tell them he knew they would come, Todd had pushed him to the ground and was crouched over him, his palm mouth open, flexing and yawning.

‘They’ll...’ John meant to warn Todd. After all, there wasn’t any point to both of them dying. But Todd’s hand was already clamped to his shoulder, where his collar met the skin, and then...

Then all he felt was a rush of ecstasy, something like sexual orgasm and something like he imagined was experienced by saints who claimed to have been touched by their god. Life flowed through him, his own life and perhaps some of Todd’s. He wasn’t capable of truly coherent thought but when it ended he knew it was probably something he would always remember and always want. Suddenly, he felt young again, really young, and seriously fit, not at all as he had felt during his capture, or even, if he was honest, a few months before. Somehow, Todd had reversed the ageing and seemed to have de-aged John to a point well before that at which they had met. Somehow or another. 

He jumped to his feet and managed to prevent his team from killing Todd. That couldn’t be allowed now under any circumstances. To begin with, there was so much to learn, then some gratitude was due, but mostly, John couldn’t bear the idea of losing the being who had given him that surge of intense pleasure along with another chance at life. 

He found himself thinking even more rapidly than usual, planning, considering courses of action, discarding some and extending others. Todd was looking from him to the team, clearly wondering what was to happen next. So John grabbed Rodney’s gun – he couldn’t rely on the settings on Kolya’s armaments. 

And then he shot Todd. 

After that, it was easy to convince the marines to carry the unconscious Wraith to the jumper. It was reasonably easy to convince the team, for that matter, once they saw just how young he now was. 

‘Youngest colonel in history,’ muttered Rodney.

‘Oh, I dunno. Think about field promotions in times like America’s Civil War,’ said John, grinning. 

‘But what are we going to do with him?’ Trust Teyla to be practical. 

‘We aren’t leaving him here, anyway,’ said John. ‘We’ll dump him on a deserted planet somewhere or other.’ He tried to sound casual but he knew he would be noting the planet’s location.

When they left Todd, he was still unconscious. John knew the Wraith would have a huge headache when he came round. Any creature would, and the Wraith were some kind of flesh and blood, after all. He just hoped his erstwhile companion would work out what he’d done and why, and forgive him. Especially if, as he also hoped, they were to meet again. 


	3. ...alone before I knew ya

As expected, Elizabeth was furious, with Kolya, of course, but also with John for leaving Todd alive. Of course, she didn’t call him Todd, but referred to him as ‘that creature’ despite John’s attempts to explain how Todd had given him back his life. Without, of course, telling anyone about the ecstasy.

So, as they could all have expected, John simply slipped away, took a jumper, and headed out for the planet where they’d dumped the Wraith. If confronted he would have justified his action as a security measure and as all security issues were his responsibility he didn’t need anyone’s permission. He didn’t think anyone would confront him before he got back.

He reached Planet M4L-491without incident and easily found the area where they’d left their unconscious passenger. He cloaked the jumper and started to look around. He wasn’t a complete idiot and he carried his gun, set on stun, and followed all his training concerning reconnaissance. He also carried a Wraith tracker, one he’d liberated from the store.

Todd was sitting on a fallen tree, perfectly conscious and looking reasonably well. He was clearly startled when John joined him but only showed his surprise in the widening of his eyes.

‘Why are you here?’ Abrupt, and not particularly welcoming.

‘To make sure you’re all right. I told you, we don’t leave people behind.’

‘You left me.’ Well, yes, that was reasonable.

‘Only temporarily, and as you see, here I am. I had to bring something from Atlantis.’

The Wraith had no eyebrows, but his eyes widened even further and the bony ridge above them rose, causing wrinkles to turn his forehead into something resembling a poorly ploughed field. ‘What could you possibly have needed to bring here? Chains, to lead me into captivity?’

‘Of course not.’ John felt irritated and even slightly insulted. ‘I’ve brought you a tracker. I had no idea whether you still had one after your captivity and without it you won’t be able to attract a dart. I couldn’t just abandon you here.’

Todd looked down. He thought for a moment before responding. ‘I do not have my tracker. Kolya destroyed it so that no-one would find me. That was well thought, John Sheppard.’

‘And,’ John continued, ‘I thought you might be starving again.’

‘And so, if I was, what did you intend to do about it?’

‘I thought... Well, I thought since I’m now so much younger, you could feed from me again, just a little, just enough to keep you alive until a dart...’

‘You know nothing, John Sheppard.’ Todd sounded at the same time exasperated and gentle. ‘I cannot feed from one to whom I have given the Gift of Life.’

‘Can’t, or won’t? Because I’m willing. You helped me to escape and then you gave me back the years you had taken and more.’

Todd stared at him before speaking. ‘I did, and we agreed, I think, that we were companions. Not only that; as I said, I gave you the Gift of Life. We only give that to those we worship, or our brothers, or our mates. No Wraith would feed on someone in that kind of relationship to him.’

‘Even in dire straits?’ John ignored the ‘brothers or mates’ designation for now. They could discuss that later perhaps.

‘Even then,’ said Todd. Then, when John frowned, Todd continued. ‘Are you telling me that in similar circumstances humans would feed upon each other?’

‘Most would not,’ John admitted. ‘But there have been cases. Once, shipwrecked sailors killed and ate the youngest of their company in order to survive. There may be other instances; it seems unlikely to be a unique event.’

‘And you? Would you do that?’

‘No. I would die myself, first.’

‘Do you think less of me?’

‘I have no idea what to think, Todd. You belong to an alien race. You have more in common with some of our insects than with humans. Insects on our world would certainly eat their brothers and their mates. In fact...’ He broke off then carried on, telling Todd about the habits of the praying mantis. 

Todd was silent. Then he seemed to shiver and made a noise that in a human would have been a groan. ‘I do not think we are very like your insects,’ was all he said, and that came out almost as a growl.

‘So,’ said John, ‘I can’t be an object of worship. Do you regard me as a brother? I must say I don’t see myself as a Wraith.’ He grinned, hoping Todd would take the remark as intended.

‘No, John Sheppard. You are not a Wraith. You are not my brother. But perhaps you are my mate.’

‘Your... But I thought you only mated with your queen.’

Todd shrugged. ‘One Wraith from another hive mates with the queen. All the Wraith in the hive are her children. She is our mother and we worship her. We do not all have the same father. Only the Wraith in my age group are my brothers. The rest have different fathers, and we can choose mates among them.’

John took a moment to think about a society that depended almost totally on same gender relationships that were also, from a human viewpoint, incestuous. He shook his head vigorously, trying to clear it. He had already had swirling thoughts but had considered them fantasy. Perhaps they weren’t. Perhaps they could be reality. And yet...

But before he could explore the idea further he needed to know how Todd would survive until a dart came.

‘How hungry are you, anyway?’ he asked. ‘You look better than you did just before you fed on that pair in the woods.’

Todd grinned, showing all his teeth. ‘I have found sustenance here,’ he said.

‘We thought it was an uninhabited planet,’ said John, worrying suddenly that he had inadvertently released a dangerous predator on an unsuspecting population.

‘There are no humans,’ said Todd. ‘But I found some larger animals. Come; let me show you.’

John followed him. A little way from the tree he saw a small pile of corpses. They were an animal he didn’t recognise, about the size of a small dog, but resembling a rabbit with floppy ears and fluffy tails. They had, however, six legs and a kind of fin or vane on their backs. They had all obviously been drained of life and were desiccated, their fur staring and uniformly grey. 

‘They’re not-rabbits,’ he said, slowly.

‘You know these animals?’

‘I’ve never seen them anywhere.’

‘But you gave them a name. Not-rabbits.’

‘Oh! No. We have animals called rabbits which are a bit like these, but these are not-rabbits.’

‘I see. Well, these not-rabbits have kept me from starving. They are quite easy to catch. They are not frightened at all, though I think they are beginning to become wary of me.’

As he spoke, one of the creatures came almost up to them. It was, John noted, glossy and plump. It didn’t move like a rabbit or a hare, but more like a beetle, its legs out to the sides. Definitely not a rabbit.

Todd reached out casually and grabbed it, his movement so fast the animal could hardly have realised what was happening. He pressed his palm to its chest and a moment later it was a drained corpse like the rest.

‘But if you can live on these animals, why...?’

‘Why do we prey on humans? Partly because we have never found large animals in any quantity on any planet in this system. A hive did try to breed some that we found, many years ago. I believe another hive was jealous. They descended on the planet where the breeding was taking place, and by the time they left there were no animals. They did not even leave a single breeding pair.’

‘But that’s...’

‘That is Wraith. After all, there are plenty of humans. We do not have to persuade them to breed and we can all cull them without decreasing their numbers to dangerously low levels. No need for jealousy. And of course most Wraith do not see humans as any different from other animals. They would not imagine, for example, that a Wraith could ever offer the Gift of Life to a human.’

‘But you did.’

‘You helped me escape. And you were determined I should not be left behind. Even after I had fed on you. Even though at that moment you were ageing so fast you were nearing death.’

‘And now we’re more than companions?’

‘Much more. You are not a queen...’

‘Hardly...’

‘And you are not a Wraith so you cannot be my brother.’

‘And so...?’

‘John Sheppard, you must be my mate.’ Todd grinned again, that dreadful grin full of sharp teeth, though it seemed unlikely he would use them for a weapon, let alone to feed.

A Wraith’s mate. John tried to get his head round the idea. Yes, he had felt sexual pleasure when he had received the Gift of Life, and yes, he felt some kind of bond to Todd. But surely the concept of a mate assumed much more than that? Could he really be a mate to a creature he regarded as a deadly enemy? And was he actually considering it?


	4. Not throwing away my shot

Yes, he was considering it. He was as surprised as anyone else would have been, had they known. Ronon would probably have shot Todd dead on principle, just to make sure John couldn’t go ahead with his crazy notion. Teyla would have taken him aside and tried to talk him out of it with lots of advice and wisdom. Rodney. Rodney would have blustered and whined and brought everything back to his own needs and preferences. His team were like that; and he loved them. But they didn’t know, and there was this strange feeling unfurling inside him. A Wraith’s mate?

Todd was certainly his companion. There was some kind of bond after the escape and particularly after the Gift of Life. There was the sexual element, too, and he shivered in a combination of learned horror and newly acquired anticipation. But then, on top of all that, he actually liked Todd, and admired his ability to help in the escape after a long imprisonment, his wry humour, his willingness to explore ideas and his strange loyalty. There was his face, too, with the strange pallor – normal, of course, for his kind – and those markings.

John took a deep breath and stepped forward. He tried to tell himself he was simply curious about the markings. Were they natural? Were they tattoos? Were they scars? He wanted to touch them to find out. His hand raised in accordance with his underlying wishes but not with his immediate intent. Before he knew it, he was tracing the fierce zig zag lines that copied the shape of Todd’s nose. And, just as fast as he had caught the not-rabbit, Todd grasped his wrist and held it.

He didn’t, John noted, push him away, just held him and looked, questioningly. This close, the Wraith’s eyes were extraordinarily intense, light green or perhaps deep gold. John was mesmerised. He stepped even closer, so that they were almost touching, his arm and hand held between them, nothing else separating them but their clothing.

John swallowed. And let his face move forward so that their lips were a mere hair’s breadth apart. Everything stilled. Todd said nothing, did nothing, just waited. John decided that this counted as some kind of consent.

Then they were kissing, and suddenly it all seemed natural and as though everything had been leading to this. Todd’s mouth tasted sweet, the sweetness of fresh spring water which was, John’s brain in the background told him, what the Wraith must have been drinking. Todd’s lips felt smooth. John suppressed an urge to bite them. Better not take risks this early in the game. Although it wasn’t a game. Unlike any previous relationship he’d had, he thought this one might be very very serious.

He drew back and kissed the dark lines, then the tip of Todd’s nose. Todd growled quietly and sought his lips again. Then, once they were kissing he nipped John’s lips with his sharp teeth; not enough to hurt, just enough to tell him he was not on any account allowed to stop what he was doing.

Their arms were around each other in a hug that could have been one of bromance, but wasn’t. John began to feel that his uniform might be superfluous to current need, but didn’t want to rush things. Eventually he drew back from the kiss.

‘I just need to breathe,’ he said, and smiled at Todd’s answering grin.

‘Very well, but only for a moment,’ said the Wraith. There was a smug tone in his voice as if he knew John would not be able to resist him for long. He followed his words with another nip, a lightning dart of his teeth grazing John’s lips then withdrawing almost before it had begun.

‘Your teeth,’ John began.

‘What about my teeth? Do you not like them?’ There was a hint of laughter.

‘I just don’t understand. Why do you have teeth at all? You don’t eat like we do, and you don’t need to use them as weapons. Is their sole purpose to administer a reproach to a lover you think should be more ardent?’

The laughter was full throated, now. ‘I think they are some kind of evolutionary throw-back. I am sure humans must have things that they do not truly need.’

John nodded, remembering having his appendix removed as a teenager, and thinking about the curled tail at the end of the human spine.

‘But yes, now they have a sexual purpose. And they help us to talk. Our own language gurgles and mumbles, but without teeth we would have little chance of enunciating yours. I do not imagine evolution designed teeth for language, but it is a benefit, all the same.’

John kissed him again, and saw those eyes change colour, green to gold and back again, then flaring turquoise as the kiss deepened. ‘If it means we can talk, then I like your teeth,’ he said.

They sat on the fallen tree again and made out like teenagers on a first date, kissing, touching nervously, pushing then retreating, both of them wildly aware of the alien nature of their coming together but both helpless to stop it.

‘Is this what you meant when you said I must be your mate?’ John hoped the answer would be a resounding yes.

Todd’s brows did that raising and crinkling thing again. ‘I meant a great deal more than this,’ he said.

And with that they fell on each other, almost but not quite tearing their clothes in their haste. John’s uniform was easy to remove. Todd’s was less so, but the fabric was soft with age, and John soon learnt the way the fastenings worked.

He undressed his partner almost reverently. He had never expected an alien coupling under an even more alien sky. He liked both men and women well enough, but only that; well enough for brief liaisons. This, he thought, was different. It had something almost holy about it. And if they were to have sex, or rather, to make love, he wanted it all to be as perfect as possible.

Of course, a first time was never going to be perfect, but then perhaps they could practise. And when had he ever thought that about any of his previous partners? Which reminded him, he had no idea about Todd’s experience, or lack of it.

A few murmured questions elicited a gasp and a laugh. ‘I am not a shrinking virgin, John. And no, you do not need to be careful with me. Nor do you need to concern yourself with protection against disease,’ he added, as John drew a condom out of its wrapper. ‘We are too different, I think.’

He was probably right, but John was still glad he had brought lube. Todd might not need it; he couldn’t yet be sure; but he would. By now he was totally aroused. The creature lying on the ground beneath him was fascinating and seductive. He could no more stop in his love making than he could cease to breathe.

The planet’s rotation and daylight hours were a mystery to him, but he thought evening was approaching. The sun was low on the horizon, and threw stray gleams onto the Wraith’s hair which glowed, translucent. Colours, pale but glorious, swirled through the long strands, and his eyes were now violet with longing.

John was determined to satisfy that longing and his own. As Todd’s legs came up to grip him, he thrust forward and heard himself give an animal howl as he entered his partner. There was nothing like the awe-filled ecstasy of the Gift of Life, but there was an intense and all-encompassing satisfaction that increased until both of them collapsed in a boneless heap, sated, exhausted, and in John’s case incredibly happy.

They lay for a few minutes, caressing each other idly, vaguely aware that it was now dark, and that the ground was quite cold. Maybe they should get up. John wasn’t sure he had either the energy or the will.

Todd was the first to speak. ‘What now, John? We are mates in truth. But will you go back to Atlantis? I think you must. If you do not, they will come looking for you, and I am sure others in your team noted the location of this planet.’

‘You’re right. I have to go.’ John groaned. ‘I didn’t mean this to happen, or rather, I did, but not as quickly. It brings problems and I haven’t any solutions yet.’

They sat, arms around each other’s shoulders, thinking, wishing, and not talking.

Then Todd took up the conversation again. ‘You must go. I am all right here. And I think you can come again.’

John scrambled to his feet and dressed, still working out what to say. He took the tracker out of his pocket and held it towards Todd. ‘You can activate it when I’ve gone,’ he said. ‘I would never wish to keep you here against your will, with only the not-rabbits to eat. If or rather when I come again I will have a better plan and if you are still here...’ When Todd didn’t take the tracker John placed it on a rock.

‘I will be here, John Sheppard,’ said Todd. ‘You can be very sure of that.’


	5. Knows everybody's disapproval

While he was arguing with Elizabeth (mostly) and everybody else (from time to time) about taking off with a jumper and not telling anyone where he was going (as if it wasn’t obvious), John’s mind was at least partially occupied with Todd.

Todd’s skin, hard almost like fingernails, Todd’s body, unyielding and bony, Todd’s lips, some of the softest John had ever known, Todd’s eyes that segued through a whole gamut of colours depending on the light, the surroundings, and Todd’s emotions. There were the patterns on his face, too, that varied, now indigo, now navy blue, now black. And his teeth, the sharp and terrifying teeth that merely nibbled or nipped, and that enabled Todd to speak English with very little trace of an accent.

John watched his team. He had always thought of all three as sexually attractive, even though he would never have done anything about it. It was just an observation, a recognition of his own preferences. Now he saw them as soft, like plasticine or dough. Even Ronon, with his muscled torso and Teyla with her honed body, were no longer to his taste.

As for how Todd might see him, he supposed that the Wraith might be equally attracted to the different, the exotic. He hoped so, anyway.

‘I needed to check on him,’ he kept insisting.

‘You needed to kill it, to finish what you’d begun,’ said Ronon.

‘He gave me the Gift of Life,’ John pointed out.

‘You could have given him the Gift of Death,’ said Ronon, and when John glared, walked away, shrugging.

‘And now that you’ve checked?’ That was Rodney, sounding impatient.

‘I gave him a tracker,’ said John. ‘He can signal for rescue now.’

‘So you took equipment as well as a jumper,’ said Rodney, his voice rising a couple of notches.

‘You all want rid of him,’ said John. ‘You can’t have it both ways.’

‘And now I suppose you want to check whether he’s gone,’ said Teyla. As usual, she was the reasonable one, but John felt annoyed in any case.

‘Yes, I do, and yes, I’ll go again. I feel responsible for him.’

‘Responsible for a Wraith who almost killed you?’ asked Teyla.

‘He was acting under duress, and then he gave me the Gift of Life,’ said John, walking away from them and retreating to his quarters where he lay fuming at his team mates and missing his mate.

Elizabeth was adamant that he should not go.

‘We can send someone else,’ she said.

‘Someone he might very well attack if he’s still there,’ said John.

‘He might attack you, John. We can’t risk that.’

‘He won’t, not after giving me the Gift of Life.’

‘That’s what he told you but you can’t trust your life to the word of a Wraith.’

‘I can.’ John was muttering but Elizabeth heard him and raised her eyebrows. It amused him to note the hairline rise, and the very slight wrinkles on the forehead form. So different from Todd.

And naturally he went again, secretly. No point attracting more argument. He left it a week, knowing Todd could live that long on the not-rabbits, and that if he got desperate he could activate the tracker. But hoping.

Todd was exactly where John had left him. Well, not necessarily exactly, in that the number of small corpses strewn around showed he’d been hunting. But in the same place, waiting for John. The tracker was lying on the rock where John had put it, inactivated and ignored. 

They were in each other’s arms in what seemed like no time at all. Todd appeared to be as desperate as John had felt and neither of them spoke while they made up for a week’s absence. The sex was fast, furious, more like a fight than anything, but ending in a win for both sides. John revelled in Todd’s hardness coupled with vulnerability, heard his moans and growls with delight, and found himself growling in response. 

Eventually, as he adjusted his clothing, John said, ‘I thought you’d use the tracker.’

‘I told you I would be here.’

‘I know, but...’

‘Did you think I lied?’

‘No. I just thought you might be starving, that you couldn’t manage to survive on not-rabbits, that you couldn’t wait as long. I’m sorry I took so long to return.’

‘The not-rabbits are keeping me alive. And I needed to see you again. I knew there might be a delay. Your team would want to talk to you. Your queen would need to know what was going on.’

‘My queen? I suppose you mean Elizabeth. She’s the expedition leader, but queen? No. I have absolute authority over military matters and I designated you a military matter.’ He frowned as he remembered Elizabeth’s fury and impotence, hoping Todd didn’t mind the military designation. ‘You’re really coping well on just not-rabbits?’ He didn’t need to ask, he supposed, given the strength of the welcome he’d just had.

‘They will keep me alive,’ said Todd. ‘There are quite a lot of them and I suspect they breed quickly. There are a lot of young ones. There are not enough of them,’ he went on, ‘to support more than one Wraith so before you ask, they would not be an answer to Wraith needs. But for me, for now, they are sufficient.’ 

John was about to kiss him again but Todd’s eyes widened and John sensed someone else behind him. Before he could turn, his wrists were grasped and he was handcuffed. 

He felt panic at the thought that Kolya had found them again. But Todd looked surprised rather than alarmed. Were these Wraith captors? Was that why Todd was still free? He tried to identify the feel of the hands that had grabbed him but he thought they wore gloves. He twisted, desperate to know who held him.

‘Stop struggling.’ A familiar voice. Ronon. His team, handcuffing him. And now the panic changed to fear for Todd. Yet so far Todd was free and nobody had used a gun.

‘As for you,’ Ronon continued, apparently addressing the Wraith, ‘don’t move and we won’t shoot you.’

‘Three to one is not good odds.’ That was Rodney. 

‘Release me at once.’ John put all his authority into his voice.

‘You don’t command us,’ said Ronon.

‘I’m your military commander and head of your team.’ He snapped the words at them, never having thought to need to be so peremptory with the people he thought of as his friends.

‘None of us are in your military,’ said Rodney. ‘I’m Chief Scientific Officer and as such, your equal. Ronon and Teyla aren’t even from the same planet as us. We answer to Elizabeth if to anyone. And don’t mention teams. You didn’t involve us in this as a team.’ He sounded bitter.

‘You could at least let Todd go,’ said John, noting that Rodney had pocketed the tracker. ‘Let him move away from us – far enough that he can’t reach the jumper when we leave. Then drop the tracker before we go.’

‘Todd? You’ve named it? Your pet, is it?’ Ronon sounded angrier than John had ever heard him.

‘The Wraith isn’t going to be left here, John. Elizabeth wants to speak with him,’ said Teyla.

‘Why?’ That was Todd, who was simply staring at these humans who were arguing around him. 

‘She wants to know more about the Gift of Life,’ said Teyla.

‘She could have asked me,’ said John.

‘John,’ said Rodney, ‘Elizabeth doesn’t exactly trust you much just now. No more than we do. We’ve agreed to bring you both back to Atlantis.’

‘Then you’ll need to bring some not-rabbits, too, unless you want to starve Todd to death.’

‘Not-rabbits?’ Rodney sounded genuinely curious and John almost laughed.

‘Floppy ears, fluffy tails and waffly noses, but they’re about dog-sized, and have six legs apiece,’ he explained.

‘And,’ said Todd, ‘you will need to find a way to catch them.’

It appeared that the team didn’t actually want to take Todd to Atlantis to die because Ronon and Teyla between them managed to catch quite a few not-rabbits while Rodney guarded the two prisoners. They brought a net from the jumper and Todd’s raised brows told John the Wraith had not realised their jumpers could be cloaked. Perhaps he had turned away when John left the first time and thought John had come from behind him on both visits. At any rate, John was glad Todd was not trying to run. He didn’t trust Ronon not to shoot, whatever Elizabeth wanted or said she wanted.

The jumper was packed with people and not-rabbits, the latter squeaking in indignation. John felt faintly sorry for them; they were going to certain death. But he was glad they were there, a guarantee of Todd’s survival for now.

And he was almost looking forward to Todd’s conversation with Elizabeth.


	6. There's battle lines being drawn

John was irritated. Annoyed with his team for their insistence on thinking they knew what was best for him. Annoyed with Elizabeth for being so certain she could gain some kind of upper hand in conversation with Todd. Even annoyed with Todd for being so relaxed about it all. And definitely annoyed with himself for feeling so much, so suddenly, and so deeply.

‘Are you hypnotising me?’ he growled at Todd when for a moment nobody seemed to be listening. Then he felt stupid when Todd’s response was the Wraith equivalent of surprised laughter.

The biologists seized on the not-rabbits with glee and John just hoped they had brought enough to satisfy both the scientists and Todd. The Wraith did not, so far, show any of the signs of hunger he had displayed during their escape from the Genii so John assumed he was feeding regularly. They had so far spent three days on Atlantis, with Todd kept in a cell between sessions with Elizabeth and the others.

They had gone over the general debriefing concerning the Genii and the escape. Todd had been helpful, John thought, in answering questions about Kolya and his Genii faction. Now they were addressing the problem of Todd’s current freedom, feeding, and so on, going over and over everything until Elizabeth, at least, was satisfied. 

‘These not-rabbits,’ said Elizabeth. ‘Tell me again why they can’t answer all the needs of your people.’

Todd patiently explained, for about the third time, how the not-rabbits were too small and bred too slowly and were too few in number. ‘It would take many years before we had a breeding colony that would satisfy even one hive ship,’ he finished, as usual. ‘And by then, another would have taken over, and used up all the stock. Whereas,’ he continued, 'humans travel between worlds and we have new colonies to use.' 

Elizabeth sighed. She was pacing to and fro while Todd lounged against a wall. The others sat around the conference table, some looking worried, some bored, some incredulous. Evan Lorne, John could see, was doodling on the pad in front of him. 

‘So if we could find something, some animal, large enough, and accelerate its breeding, and...’ Elizabeth was reacting as a politician or diplomat, not as a scientist, and John had a momentary vision of a planet seeded with herds of elephants or rhinoceroses, bred to shorten their gestation periods and to produce litters like rabbits. And that didn’t even begin to address the morality of using another Terran species in that way. There certainly weren’t any suitable animals in the Pegasus galaxy to the best of his knowledge. 

He wondered if Teyla knew differently, and glanced at her, forgetting for a second that he was definitely not talking to his team and that looking a question probably counted as talking. 

Todd went into the logistics and statistics of it all again, and John saw the scientists, including Rodney, nodding their comprehension. But Elizabeth kept on worrying at the subject like a cat with a particularly attractive toy mouse. The idea was unlikely to provide her (or the Wraith) with any nourishment.

Eventually she gave up, at least for the time being, and changed tack. ‘And can you tell me why you didn’t activate the tracker Colonel Sheppard brought you? Did you have some idea of following him here and gaining admission to Atlantis rather than contacting your own people?’ 

‘Hardly,’ said Todd. ‘I would not have activated the tracker while J... while the colonel was on the planet with me. I would not want to endanger him. I gave him the Gift of Life after all. Besides, I am here now, without any effort on my part.’

‘But he gave you the tracker on his first visit,’ Rodney blurted out before Elizabeth could point out the difference between gaining access to Atlantis by deception or under supervision. 

‘And I had no idea when or whether he would return,’ came the smooth reply. ‘I hoped he would come back; I wanted to talk to him again and I knew I could live on the not-rabbits. Although,’ he added in a murmur, ‘I am not sure why I am using this negative name from your culture for an alien beast.’ 

‘They’re not-rabbits now, anyway,’ said Elizabeth, who had clearly heard him, ‘and since it appears there are no beings on that planet with speech, I don’t suppose it matters. But I find it strange that you wanted to talk to our colonel.’

Not so much talking, John thought but didn’t say. Elizabeth seemed to be trying to prove that Todd’s behaviour was all hostile and directed at Atlantis. He hoped she didn’t even faintly suspect it was anything but hostile and only directed at John. 

‘I did wish it,’ said Todd. ‘And now I have talked to him and I have learned something important about humans.’

Elizabeth seized on this announcement with what in someone less diplomatic might almost have been described as a squawk. ‘What have you learned? she asked, eager and worried at the same time.

‘That humans are sentient beings with intelligence comparable to our own,’ Todd told her. ‘Also, they display traits like courage and loyalty. In an ideal universe we should not feed on them. On the other hand, we need to live.’

‘Can you persuade your fellow Wraith that humans are not mere prey beasts?’ said Elizabeth sharply. 

‘A few of my close companions, my brothers,’ said Todd. ‘Probably not quickly enough to stop them killing the colonel if he were present. And it would, I think, take generations for the idea to spread. Even if it did, as I pointed out, we need to live.’

‘But culling entire planets...’ That was Ronon, who up to now had not spoken.

Todd’s shoulders moved in the Wraith form of a shrug. ‘It’s efficient,’ he said. 

Elizabeth seemed to be exasperated. John felt sorry for her. Usually, diplomacy was all about each side compromising in some fashion. The Wraith and humanity were not likely to compromise when their very survival was at stake. And every lead Elizabeth had followed had ended in a cul de sac. 

John decided to join the debate, if that was what it could be called. ‘We could ask Todd to act as a kind of ambassador between us and the Wraith,’ he suggested. He didn’t really believe in the idea but it might give Elizabeth something to talk about.

Todd shook his head, looking sad but certain. ‘There are no gradations of opinion to be shared,’ he said. ‘The Wraith need to feed in order to live. I cannot ask them to consider human lives when their own are in the balance.’

‘You did,’ said Elizabeth. ‘You gave Colonel Sheppard the Gift of Life when you didn’t need to. You could have continued to feed on him.’

‘I needed his help to get to the gate,’ said Todd. ‘And then I needed his help again to protect me from his team. They would have killed me.’ He looked at Ronon as he spoke and they exchanged glares.

‘But on M4L-491 you didn’t feed from him.’ Elizabeth still didn’t seem to believe that to Todd, John was no longer prey.  


‘M4L-491? Is that another name like not-rabbits? I suppose you mean the planet where he left me. I told you. I gave him the Gift of Life and can no longer feed from him. And even if you do not believe that, please believe that I had plenty of not-rabbits.’

‘This Gift of Life,’ said Elizabeth, without going into what she did or didn’t believe. ‘Why can’t you give it to any human when you’ve fed to the point when they’re dying?’

‘That would not be practical,’ said Todd. ‘If we did that, we would turn the entire human species into our brothers and then we would starve. You are a prolific race and you occupy many planets, but you do not breed as quickly as not-rabbits do.’ He folded his arms. In a human John would have read that as a sign that he considered the subject closed and was not about to welcome any further questions. With a Wraith, even one he was beginning to know well, he wasn’t sure. 

Elizabeth frowned, not looking at anyone in particular. It seemed she was considering and discarding options in quick succession. At last she sighed again.

‘I can’t keep you here to starve to death when your not-rabbits run out,’ she said. ‘Someone can take you back to M4L-491 and as soon as they have left you can activate your tracker. I hope you’ll be sufficiently grateful to attempt to explain to your fellow Wraith that we are not beasts of prey.’

Except that we are, John thought. That’s exactly what we are.

‘Very well.’ The Wraith’s voice was calm. ‘But only on condition Colonel Sheppard takes me back.’

‘I can’t allow that,’ said Elizabeth. ‘He has taken enough risks already.’

At once John was on his feet. ‘I’m in charge of military matters and security,’ he said. ‘And this is my call. If the Wraith wants me as escort, he gets me.’ He noticed Todd’s lips quirk in an almost-smile. But Elizabeth’s face was thunderous.

Before anyone could argue, John moved towards the door, beckoning Todd to follow. Ronon and Rodney flanked Todd but when they reached the jumper John dismissed his team. 

‘We’re coming too,’ said Ronon, but John shook his head.

‘I go alone,’ he told them, and ushered Todd into the machine. 


	7. On the road again

‘She is not a good queen,’ Todd declared. John, busy piloting the jumper, didn’t reply, hoping further information would be forthcoming. ‘She allows too much discussion and dissension,’ the Wraith went on.

‘Because she isn’t a queen. Not in your sense,’ said John. 

‘But she is the most important female on Atlantis. I did not see many other females, important or not.’

‘She is, but our system just doesn’t work that way. Some human societies have queens – or kings – or the equivalent, but most still work on what you’d call a discussion basis.’

‘She allows people to disagree with her.’ Obviously, Todd had not grasped the niceties of the government of Atlantis. ‘I would never disagree with my queen.’

‘What if she told you to kill me?’ John was paying more attention to locating ‘their’ spot on M4L-491 than to the conversation, but thought he heard Todd mutter something about that not being something a queen would do before total silence fell.

They didn’t speak until they reached the boulder where the tracker lay. John cloaked the jumper and Todd looked surprised.

‘It’s habit,’ John told him. ‘A habit I don’t want to break. One day, it could save my life, or the lives of my whole team.’

‘I understand,’ said Todd. ‘But you must know that now I know about the hiding I might tell other Wraith. Hiding will no longer be a secret.’

‘Not the concept, no,’ said John, ‘but a cloaked jumper is a hidden jumper anyway, and you’d waste time looking for it. It could make all the difference.’

‘And I suppose it is not just Wraith you have to worry about,’ Todd said. They smiled wryly at each other, recalling Kolya and his crew. 

There was a momentary awkwardness. Todd’s visit to Atlantis seemed to have altered their relationship in some way. And yet... John knew he still wanted Todd. He had to hope the reverse was true. 

‘You want me to become some kind of ambassador, John Sheppard?’ Todd’s voice was uncertain, and John realised the idea did not appeal to the Wraith at all.

‘Not really,’ he said, hoping he sounded reassuring. ‘I just wanted to push Elizabeth’s thoughts in another direction. I don’t suppose you could do much as an ambassador.’

‘I am glad it is not something you wish for very much,’ said Todd. ‘It would mean a great deal of interaction with humans and the only human I wish to interact with is you.’

John heaved an internal sigh of relief. ‘You still want...’

‘You? Yes.’ It sounded so simple, like that.

They moved together, but unlike their previous encounters, this turned into a more leisurely affair with questioning looks, and pauses while each assessed what the other thought. 

John traced the markings on Todd’s face and his own face must have expressed his curiosity. 

‘They are just decorations, John,’ said the Wraith. ‘We choose markings to denote our place in the hive ship, our relationship to our brothers, and our sense of ourselves. If we lead something, like a cull on a planet, we add more. Eventually they turn into a piece of art, like these.’

‘So...’ 

‘Yes, John. I have fed on many humans. Some of them to their death. I did not know much about them but even if I had known, I would have fed to live.’

‘But you could let them live,’ said John.

‘Perhaps, but then one of my brothers would finish them. It might even be kinder to kill them at once. Besides, sometimes I have been very hungry. Our queen likes to send us out hungry. That makes us a stronger force.’

John thought about the humans he had seen imprisoned on hive ships, waiting for death. Todd did, he thought, have a point. 

‘And the scar?’ he asked, wondering if one of Todd’s prey had fought back hard.

‘From one of the other Wraith on our ship. One much older than me. He disliked the way I looked at him and he bit me. So you see, our teeth have other uses.’ 

‘And your queen allows fighting?’ John thought about what he would do if one of his marines bit another’s face. 

‘She does not discourage it,’ said Todd.

John stroked the scar. Unlike a human scar, one that would stand proud against the skin, this was more of a cleft in Todd’s cheek, a crevasse in the smoothness of the slightly hard Wraith skin. Skin like some kind of plastic, he thought, or perhaps like snakeskin. It was almost like one of the extra nostrils that flared from the bridge of the Wraith nose, but it was part, or seemed part, of the patterning.

Todd’s eyes widened, and flickered through their colour changes. So he liked John’s touch on his face. That was something to remember. He decided to experiment, and combed his fingers gently through the Wraith’s hair, seeing the way it reflected colour and light, but mainly noticing the incredible softness, such a contrast to the skin. The sparse beard, too, was soft and translucent.   
Todd reciprocated, caressing John’s cheeks, chin and brow. He spent time fingering the whorls of his ears. Wraith ears, John realised, were flatter to the skull than human ones, and less complex. Human ears must seem strange. He shivered a little. He enjoyed having his ears touched or even kissed. And, as he soon discovered, nibbled. He felt a thrill when Todd’s claw-like nails scratched him gently, and he soon noticed that the Wraith rarely touched him with the palm of his hand where the feeding mouth was located. Instead, he used the back of his hand to stroke, and his fingertips and nails to excite.

They did more than kiss, of course, and soon both were satisfied. A Wraith, John discovered, could be a more than adequate lover, though there were slight physical differences between the species. Wraith sexual parts were withdrawn into the body for protection, and only emerged, at once hard and yet deliciously soft, on arousal. That added, John thought, to the sensuality of their love-making and he felt proud to induce such a reaction. Eventually they fell asleep, spooned against each other on what was surprisingly warm ground. John had vague thoughts of returning to the jumper but decided they were comfortable enough where they were, though he pulled his jacket and pants back on. 

He woke at what he thought must be M4L-491’s dawn, and found himself alone. Sitting up, he saw at once that Todd was hunting. He found himself admiring the efficiency with which the Wraith cornered and snatched his prey then drained it, tossing the corpse to the growing pile. Something like a tiger or a killer whale, he decided; beautiful and deadly. Once upon a time, early humans must have hunted like this and fed voraciously on their catch. Although he thought humans had usually made sure the vulnerable members of society were fed, too, the old, the sick, the very young. Wraith seemed to be all about individuals satisfying their own needs, only co-operating for efficiency’s sake. He wondered what happened to the old, and how the children were fed. He was not at all sure he wanted to ask. 

His radio crackled at him. He hadn’t meant to bring it but Ronon had shoved it at him as he left and he had taken the thing automatically. Now he unearthed it from the pocket of his pants and hit the switch.

‘Sheppard,’ he said.

‘Elizabeth wants you back here now,’ Rodney told him. ‘Maybe even earlier. What on earth are you still doing there?’

John looked over at Todd, who was carefully cleaning the ‘mouth’ on his hand.

‘I have a problem with the jumper,’ he lied. ‘It won’t be hard to fix but I’ll be here a day or two.’

‘Fix it quickly then,’ said Rodney, though he didn’t say what the emergency was or even if there was one. John thought not. Rodney would have said something. 

John got some field rations from the jumper and ate slowly then explained to Todd, who had finished his breakfast. The Wraith agreed there could be nothing of any urgency. 

They spent daylight walking around the area where they found themselves with pauses for sex rather than rest. It was an island, in a sea that looked dark and choppy, but there seemed to be no or little tide and they walked along the waterline on hard damp sand, occasionally skirting rocks and letting the sea wet their feet. Todd had already explored on his own and delighted in showing John rocks with strange formations, and delicate shells cast on the sand by the waves. They found themselves sharing stories of childhood. John had never thought his would interest anyone, but Todd was fascinated, and in turn John listened to accounts of growing up Wraith on a hive ship rather than on a planet. 


	8. Every time we say goodbye

Twice in the course of the day Rodney contacted him by radio, each time sounding more and more anxious. John continued to use the excuse of jumper problems but he could tell there was something else disturbing the scientist. 

‘Can’t you just make it back in the state it’s in? If not, how long is this going to take?’ Rodney sounded nervous.

‘No, and not long,’ said John.

‘You will need to go,’ said Todd. ‘You cannot use that excuse forever or they will come for you and then they will know your jumper has no problem. But John...’ He didn’t finish his sentence and John frowned.

‘But what?’ he asked. 

‘I just wanted to tell you to come again when you can.’

‘You won’t use the tracker?’

‘No, or not yet, anyway. There are plenty of not-rabbits. And I do not think I am ready to say goodbye to you permanently.’

John agreed he would have to leave. But surely he could take one more night for himself. Rodney was agitating again as night fell, and John assure him that he would be ready to leave in the morning.

‘Or whatever it is on Atlantis,’ he added. ‘Morning here.’

He only half listened to Rodney’s grumbles. Then he switched the radio off and turned back to Todd. 

‘You heard?’ he asked.

‘Yes, you will leave tomorrow. But you will return.’

‘Of course I will. You know I will. And we have to think of some way to make it easier to meet. What if you were found and rescued? Would you be able to get away ever?’

‘I am not sure. If we have to be parted, John, things might change. I cannot guarantee anything if or when we meet again. Except that even my queen would not ask me to kill you or even feed from you because of the Gift of Life. I cannot, however, answer for my brothers.’

It was a gloomy conversation and they deliberately changed the subject, trying to cheer themselves up, knowing this might be their last night together for some time. They told jokes, although Wraith and human senses of humour were almost too different to meet in any kind of middle ground. They admired the sunset, watched not-rabbits playing in the dusk, fed, and, in John’s case drank water from a canteen. Todd, it seemed, also needed water, and drank from a stream.

‘It has not done me any harm yet,’ he told John. ‘We are not as susceptible to small alien organisms as you are.’

‘Only to bigger ones,’ said John, grinning before he grabbed him again, and delivered yet another kiss. 

He had already decided that Todd was insatiable when it came to sex, but he didn’t mind. He welcomed the constant physical arousal and satisfaction. He welcomed, too, the growing relationship with his unlikely lover. Todd made him insatiable too.  
Eventually they slept, exhausted but happy, despite worries of what the next day might bring.

It brought a frantic call from Rodney.

‘Are you ready to leave?’ he asked, anxiety bleeding through the radio connection.

‘Just about,’ said John. He really would have to go soon, but he wanted to prolong his leave-taking.

‘Sheppard. Get out of there. Now. Get as far as you can, as fast as you can. We’ll find you if we have to.’ The urgency was infectious and John started to feel real concern. 

‘Why? What’s the rush?’ He was alert and worried now. Todd was awake, too, watching him and frowning.

‘We set a tracker,’ said Rodney. ‘It’s on the back of the Wraith’s belt. We had to be sure it went with him, and we thought he wouldn’t notice. It was on a timer and it’s been broadcasting since you arrived. I’m not sure why...’ 

John cut the connection abruptly. He and Todd could hear it now. Not the tracker; the drone of a Wraith dart.

‘Go, John.’ Todd sounded almost as fearful as Rodney. ‘It will take them some time to locate me and land. You have that time to get away and in the middle of rescuing me they won’t bother to chase you. Or not before you can get back to Atlantis.’

‘But Todd...’ John couldn’t believe that they wouldn’t even have the opportunity for a proper farewell. He had intended to make love again before leaving, to make a leisurely start. 

‘But nothing, John Sheppard. Go! I could not bear to see you the prey of one of my brothers.’ Todd’s voice was both urgent and loving.

‘Goodbye then.’ John hoped he put everything he felt into those two words. ‘Until we meet again,’ he added. That had to happen. If he said it, it would come true. But now he ran for the jumper, wishing there’d been time for one last kiss, at least. He could see the dart now, and no doubt the pilot would see him once the jumper was aloft. But for now his transport was cloaked, and the dart was high enough he could perhaps look like any animal running, maybe a large not-rabbit. The cloaking would save him, as he had told Todd it might.

The jumper didn’t want to start. His mind went into free-fall as he considered the possibility that there really was a problem, one that could take days to fix. He supposed he could work under the cloaking, but how long would it take for Todd’s rescuers to realise there had been a human here recently? How long before they searched for him? It was only a cloak; it didn’t alter the solidity of the thing or even make it truly invisible if someone came into its immediate surroundings.

His radio crackled and Rodney was shouting. Outside, Todd was shouting. 

John closed his eyes and took a very deep breath. Then he initiated the starting sequence again, slowly and as calmly as he could. He wondered about shouting at the machine but decided it would have little or no effect. Atlantis and all its products might respond to his genetic code but if shouting upset him, then shouting at the jumper might have a similar effect, and an upset machine might simply freeze. It wasn’t quite like its earth counterparts. 

The slower repeat of the sequence must have had a good effect, however; either that or John’s deep breath had communicated itself. There was a growing eager hum, and control lights told him they were ready to go.

He was gone almost before he thought about it, his chest heaving with dry sobs as he took the controls and left. Left Todd. Left his lover. Left his mate. 

The dart landed as he took off, and the last he saw of Todd was an agonised look in his general direction. He was too far away to see the Wraith’s reunion with his brothers.


	9. Wear the green willow

Colonel Sheppard arrived back in Atlantis hating his team, his job, and the entire mission. He reserved special hatred for Elizabeth, who had instructed Rodney to plant the tracker, and Rodney, for listening to her. 

He spoke as little as possible to either of them, merely communicating as necessary for work. He spoke very little to Ronon, too, but as that was normal for both of them it didn’t have quite the same distancing effect. Rodney appeared to resent the fact that John no longer stayed in the canteen to listen to his rants and ramblings. Elizabeth seemed disappointed when he never lingered after meetings to exchange idle conversation.

Teyla. Teyla was different. She approached him almost as soon as he returned.

‘I tried to stop them,’ she said. ‘I’m so sorry I failed. I do not know what kept you there but it must have been important to you. You had a right to decide how much time you needed.’

John didn’t answer her but he really didn’t need to. He looked, and the pain in his eyes clearly showed her how he felt, and gave her an insight into the matter.

‘He was your friend,’ she said. 

‘More than my friend,’ he said, mumbling, but needing to tell someone, to talk about his distress.

Teyla’s eyes widened. ‘More than... Oh, you can’t mean... Yes, I think you can. But John, he’s a Wraith, and he’s our enemy.’ Her voice was gentle but firm.

‘Not my enemy,’ he said, then told her about the Gift of Life and its meaning.

Teyla nodded gravely. ‘I must think about this,’ she told him.

She must have thought and reached some conclusions. She turned to him one day after they’d been practising with the bantos sticks. Ronon and Rodney had left them and normally they would have followed immediately but Teyla put a hand on John’s arm, keeping him in the practice room.

‘I will help you,’ she said. ‘You will need somewhere you can go if you find him again. We can prepare it together and if we are careful, nobody else will know. Do you trust me?’

‘Of course.’ It was almost an automatic answer but yes, John decided he did trust her. After all, she was not a member of the Earth expedition, she had personal knowledge of the Wraith, she was one of his team, and she claimed she had tried to stop Elizabeth and Rodney. He believed her. He had to believe someone, he thought, and Teyla was probably the best choice. He would never trust Rodney or Elizabeth again, on personal matters, whatever faith he placed in them in their official roles.

Teyla did her research discreetly. She found a planet with larger farmed animals.

‘They are not quite like your cows,’ she said, ‘or at least not from what I can tell by looking at pictures of both, but they are about the same size as small cows, and they breed quickly. They have huge litters of young and the only reason that Eia is not overrun with them is that they are so tasty. But I have contacted someone who could sell us a breeding pair.’

‘And all we need is a planet to house them,’ said John.

‘That’s your job,’ she said. ‘There must be many empty planets: ones where there has never been a civilisation and ones that have lost everyone to Wraith culls. Find one and mark its location. Then give it a name so that we are not overheard using a designation that might lead to discovery.’

He was surprised at first to find he was not spied on, that he could fly when he wished. Everyone would, he supposed, assume that with Todd rescued from M4L-491 their colonel would have no reason to return there, and no reason to roam the galaxy for any purpose other than mapping the planets for Atlantean advantage. So unless they had a mission to fulfil, the team ignored him almost as much as he ignored them, and Elizabeth seemed smug about having stopped whatever he was doing. 

Teyla, of course, was not actually ignoring him, but as she said in one of their rare conversations, it would be as well if people did not think they were too close. 

It took some time, but eventually he settled on M9G-127. After a few visits he had seen no signs of life bigger than small birds, some creatures he mentally called not-guinea pigs, and fish. If there were any larger creatures they were extremely good at hiding and he could see no reason why they would do so when he came and went without doing any damage. 

There were birds of prey, which caught and ate both the smaller birds and the not-guinea pigs, and there were sharp-toothed fish that hunted their fellow water dwellers. Nothing bigger: no not dinosaurs; no not-wolves; no people of any kind. 

He considered a name and came up with Magenta. That was in part derived from the planet’s designation code and in part from the colour of the leaves on a ubiquitous shrub. Teyla approved.

She negotiated for a breeding pair of not-cattle. They were expensive but John had plenty of funds and was able to buy some luxury goods to trade with. It took a while and there were further delays while they worked out what the not-cattle would eat. It would be a disaster if they could not subsist on the vegetation on Magenta. 

They asked the seller to try the beasts with various foods which they let him think were from Atlantis. He reported that the magenta shrubs in particular pleased his animals, and John heaved a sigh of relief. 

He also paid a surreptitious visit to M4L-491. He was more careful than usual on that outing. Landing on the island he felt an overpowering sorrow. The lack of his Wraith lover was somehow worse in the place where they’d spent time together. But he wasn’t there to grieve for Todd; he was there to snatch not-rabbits. 

He was neither as fast nor as graceful as the Wraith, but he got what he hoped were two breeding pairs plus a couple of babies, and took them straight to Magenta. He knew from the biologists that the little creatures would eat almost anything, and he was pleased to note that they fell on what passed as grass with small squeaks of glee. 

‘The not-cattle are yours,’ Teyla told him. ‘How are we going to do this?’

With her help, he went to Eia and took delivery of his purchase. They had loaded leaves into the jumper and managed, with the aid of the seller, to get the animals on board. John wondered about changing his name to Noah, and was glad to land his ark on Magenta, and release his cargo.

‘It looks good,’ said Teyla. ‘I hope you do not find any hidden problems. If you manage to find your Wraith you can easily invite him here and then spend time together. I do not think that is likely to happen soon, so there is also time for the animals to breed. He will be well supplied, John. But what about you?’

‘I can kill and cook not-rabbits,’ said John. ‘And I’ll test some of the vegetation for poisons and so on.’

He felt better than he had done for some time. He had, with Teyla’s help, created a place for them, for him and his alien lover.   
Todd was far far away but some day, John hoped and believed, they would be together again.

Meanwhile, he continued not to talk to Rodney, or Elizabeth.


	10. Somewhere a place for us

John felt quite proprietorial about his not-cows. The fact that they had six legs apiece and their four grooved horns curled like rams’ horns made them very definitely not-cows but they were placid, and they ate the magenta shrubs with apparent pleasure. He imagined Todd eating or rather draining them in turn and hoped they bred fast enough to ignore the occasional cull. It was no worse, he told himself, than the abattoirs that gave him steak or lamb shanks. He himself would be content with the not-rabbits plus some fish and birds. He would have to be sure to stash some equipment to establish what was and wasn’t safe to eat. It wasn’t as if he could ask the biologists on Atlantis. 

Things moved fast. Jennifer replaced Carson and John grieved for his friend. Sam replaced Elizabeth and John welcomed someone with his own military training and ethos. He wasn’t sure what the changes meant for Atlantis but he was quite certain about what they meant for him. 

Had Elizabeth left notes for continued surveillance of her ever so slightly mistrusted military leader? He couldn’t be sure. Sam never mentioned Todd, or even John’s escape from Kolya. For all his worries about Rodney and Ronon he didn’t really think they would discuss the matter with Sam, especially as they seemed to consider the entire matter closed. For them, Todd out of sight was perhaps Todd out of mind.

For John, Todd out of sight was Todd in his mind constantly. The only person he could confide in was Teyla and he didn’t want to push his luck. She had helped him and he thought she might continue to do so, but she might tire of him if he complained too much. 

Magenta continued to thrive, and he found he could safely eat the not-rabbits. The not-fish (they had feet for digging sand burrows, and three eyes each) were tasty, and there were a few plump birds that were not unlike chicken once cooked, if you ignored the extra legs and the curved beaks. John actually welcomed the legs. He had always wished for more leg meat on the average chicken. The water was pure and he found some herbs that resembled camomile. Tea, he thought, might figure in his future. He wondered whether Todd liked tea. So far, he had only known the Wraith to drink water. The older branches on the bushes made good firewood and there were some gourds that made useful pans. 

Altogether, John might have considered renaming the place Eden if it hadn’t been for the insects. He had once had a holiday on the island of Grenada where minuscule biting flies, locally known as no-see-’ums made life difficult. On Magenta the not no-see-‘ums were the size of marbles and seemed to be attracted either by the not-cows or their manure. He stocked up on all kinds of antihistamine medication and found a small plant closely resembling aloe vera that might provide relief. Definitely not Eden, then. 

And then, after a year, Todd was on Atlantis again. Todd wanting help, Todd wanting trust, Todd looking to him for useful liaison with Humans. Todd making some kind of clumsy joke when he offered to shake hands with Sam. John desperately hoping Sam couldn’t read between the lines when she said he knew Todd better than anyone, and he said it wasn’t as though they were dating.

After Sam’s insistence that he was the best person to talk to Todd, it wasn’t too hard to get time alone with the Wraith. But he knew there were cameras and he mustn’t get too close, however tempted they both were. There could also be hidden microphones though he thought not. He had set up the security himself and it had only involved visual surveillance. Someone would be watching to ensure his safety. Nobody would be listening, unless Woolsey had some kind of trick up his sleeve. John didn’t think so, but he would have to be careful. He was desperate to tell Todd about Magenta but would have to talk in riddles, always making sure he was facing away from the cameras he knew about. Or there might be other ways.

His first priority was to find out whether Todd could read English. Mathematics and code, yes, but language? He handed him a sheet that was ostensibly a list of rules for prisoners. Todd’s brow furrowed but he seemed to understand what John was doing and read the list aloud, making drawling comments where he thought it worth interjecting his reactions. 

‘Prisoners should not attempt to attack the guards,’ he read. ‘Any attempt to do so will be met with a fierce response.’ He smiled. ‘Does that include attempting to feed?’ he asked.

‘Absolutely,’ John told him, with a straight face. ‘We’ll provide plenty of not-rabbits. They breed like, well, like their Earth namesakes, so our labs are overrun with the things.’

‘So much that if you had not had a Wraith prisoner you would have had to find one,’ said Todd.

It was John’s turn to frown, to hide an incipient grin. ‘Actually,’ he said, ‘we were investigating incorporating them into our own diet.’

When they reached the end of the admittedly short list of rules Todd looked at him consideringly. ‘What are you not telling me, John Sheppard?’ he asked.

John just smiled. He knew now he could get some kind of message to his lover. That night he spent time writing a brief account of Magenta and the not-cows, not giving any details about how he had set things up but giving the co-ordinates. Then he sighed and did the entire thing again, in print rather than handwriting. He wasn’t sure whether Todd’s reading skills extended to rather illegible scribble. He used thin paper and wrote in as cramped a fashion as possible. Then he tucked the paper into the pocket of his uniform and waited. Meanwhile, he tore the original handwritten message into tiny pieces, creating a small snowstorm that he scattered over the sea. 

Todd, it seemed, had a tracker. Well, of course he did. He’d had no idea of his welcome. He’d had no idea whether John was still on Atlantis, never mind still wanting him. And Todd’s friends were, it seemed, intent on blowing each other up. Thank goodness. Because if they hadn’t, Sam and Woolsey between them would have had John blow them up instead. Blow Todd’s friends or brothers to smithereens. That might not have been too good for their relationship. 

They said one thing and meant another. John swore to kill Todd, meaning he’d smother him with desire, spear him with sex, bring him almost to extinction with their coupling. He managed to hand over the note and heard Todd’s swift slight intake of breath, quickly stilled. 

And now his beloved was his prisoner, and their planet, their Eden (other than the pesky insects) was even further away than when he’d found and planned it. But at least Todd knew, and next time John spoke to him he could tell from the light in those colour-changing eyes, that the Wraith had read and understood. 

All he said was, ‘You have a new queen,’ and John nodded.

‘I think she is a better queen,’ said Todd, as though his approval might matter to the expedition. ‘She is a warrior like you.’ Again, John nodded.

‘So it is just possible that I could negotiate with her. But she is guarded by that Richard Woolsey.’

‘He isn’t a guard,’ said John. ‘He’s assessing her, to report back to Earth, to their superiors.’

‘Then I do not suppose she would welcome negotiations with a Wraith at this time,’ said Todd. ‘It would be too much like consorting with the enemy. Perhaps like negotiating with Replicators. Nobody would believe anything good could come of that.’

And John could only agree.


	11. Riders on the storm

Todd seemed genuine enough for the team to believe in his fight against the Replicators, though Ronon kept going on about it only being so that the Wraith food source wasn’t wiped out. John agreed, with the unspoken proviso that it might also be to preserve himself and his human for an unknown but hoped-for future. Ronon would be horrified if he knew; would probably shoot first and argue later. Rodney would babble and even if he shot, might well miss but would, in any case, shout long and loud. Only Teyla could be trusted. 

‘He means it,’ he told Teyla, and she agreed. 

‘You will have to convince the others, John,’ she said, and he nodded, knowing she was right.

‘I will support you as much as I can,’ Teyla said. ‘But it would not be good if Ronon in particular learned about Magenta.’

She was right, of course. He had had only a few opportunities to go to his planet. Funny how he was thinking of it as his, as theirs. He had explored further and still there were no signs of anything bigger or more intelligent than the fish, birds and insects. He had half expected not-dinosaurs or at least not-whales, but there was nothing. 

Then he’d found a Stargate. It was old, covered in what he thought of as not-brambles, and had obviously not been used for millennia. 

‘So at some point in the future we might find you,’ said Teyla when he told her. 

‘You might find the planet. I think you’d just ignore it,’ he said. ‘There’s nothing special to catch or grow, or even mine, so far as I can see, and there’s nobody to trade with. The gate’s a long way from my camp, which is where we would live. There would be no reason for you to explore that far.’

‘Still,’ she said, a frown creasing her usually clear brow, ‘I think you ought to set up some kind of alarm system so that if we or another team arrive you can hide until we have gone.’ And then they involved themselves in designing just such a system and gathering the pieces he needed to construct it. 

‘You could alert me,’ was his first suggestion, but Teyla shook her head. 

‘You should not keep anything that might lead us to you,’ she pointed out. 

‘No radio, no communicator?’ He felt as though he were already adrift.

‘Nothing,’ she stressed.

‘And I’d never see any of you again,’ he said, more to himself than to her, and sadly rather than desperately.

‘Take some codes,’ she said. ‘You could activate the gate. We might meet some time on a trading world. Strangers in a bustling market, catching each other’s eyes across the stalls.’

‘And you don’t think activating the gate would lead to suspicion and discovery?’

‘Unlikely. Do you know how many trading worlds I have visited, John? You have never shown interest in even half of them. Even a quarter. And those are the big centres, not the tiny out of the way planets that only visit the markets once or twice a year.’

It would be strange, he mused, to visit a market incognito like that. A man from another galaxy pretending to be a small trader from a forgotten corner of Pegasus. Todd, of course, could never go with him. That would be putting the cat among the pigeons to say the least. He wondered whether Todd would mind his exile. He hoped to be able to make it worth all the loss.

John understood that Todd couldn’t show any favouritism when it came to stunning them all, leaving the Wraith free to communicate unheard by the team. He took his gun back from Todd and waited till he was unobserved to read the note passed with it. It started by affirming their need for each other. John was Todd’s mate by virtue of having received the Gift of Life and that was something that would never change. Todd went on to say he was trying to change minds and influence some of his brothers but was not overly optimistic. Still, he finished, he hoped John would simply trust him. He would do his best to protect the team, partly because he genuinely wanted their help in the battle against a common enemy and partly because they were John’s. All this was couched in somewhat blunt terms. Todd’s written English had nothing like the polish of the spoken article. 

It took a lot of arguing and misdirection to get everybody to go along with what Todd wanted. John almost gave up but pressed on because he knew it was also what Atlantis needed. Sam and Richard Woolsey were the hardest to convince, at least in part because of their experience of high level negotiations and their instinctive distrust of the enemy. But Ronon was, John thought, still the most cynical of the lot. Hardly surprising, really. 

‘We need them,’ he told the Satayan.

‘Yeah, yeah, like they need us. We are just a food source, John. Never forget that.’

‘But...’

‘I know. He helped you escape and he kept his word. And he gave you back your life.’

‘Which is why I trust him.’

‘I am sure he told you a lot of convincing lies. Just know that I do not believe them.’

‘I know, but please, go along with this until we have proof of betrayal. We need them.’

And that was how every argument started and ended, every day.

Rodney was the easiest to bring on board. His own experiments with the Replicator code and his interactions with Zelenka paved the way. The latter appeared to be completely neutral, leaving everything even faintly military or political to the politicians or the military officers or in Sam's case, both. 

And so, when they followed Todd’s tracker, only to find it had been removed; when they found the Wraith ‘city’ or whatever they called it, the breeding centre; when they learned about the queen and the warring factions, well, at that point John had to pull his team along with him into very real danger, desperate to rescue Todd. Todd, imprisoned by his own kind, about to be killed by a queen feeding on him. 

John cursed himself for putting a pregnant Teyla into that danger, and told himself that leaving her with Evan Lorne as a kind of bodyguard was the best he could do. 

‘I thought you would never come,’ said Todd, as they raised the gate and let him out of his cell.

‘You know I leave no-one behind,’ said John. He ignored Ronon’s frown. That was their team’s mantra but Ronon could not be aware of the layers it had for John, stretching back to his days in the air force and forward to his escape with Todd from Kolya and his men.

Then they were running, hiding, trying to reach the entrance, the exit, the doorway to the open air where there was a chance they could be picked up. 

He lost sight of everyone. He heard Todd urging him to run, heard Todd’s voice fading into a distance muffled in curved walls and floors. He tried so hard to reach safety, to reach it with his Wraith. 

Only to find himself, Ronon and Rodney in the cage where they’d found Todd, with no sign of Todd, no weapons, and no way out. 


	12. Slow train comin'

If he had thought for one moment that Teyla would intervene the way she did... If he had even dreamed it... He was incredibly shocked and equally incredibly grateful. They all were. Teyla’s Wraith blood, however attenuated, had saved them. She had been able to overcome the queen but had exhausted herself in the process. He was unsure about the future cost to the child she carried, the child who should never have been put in such danger.

‘You would make a good queen,’ he heard himself saying, and Ronon was agreeing while Rodney babbled thanks. 

‘I tried to stop her,’ said Lorne. ‘But I’m glad I didn’t.’

‘Not as glad as us,’ said Rodney.

‘But Todd isn’t with you?’

They were all calling him Todd now, since John had named him and in a moment of some kind of insanity used the name he had given him. They had accepted it well, and now it seemed second nature for everyone to refer to the Wraith, to his Wraith, as Todd. He wasn’t sure how he felt about that.

What he was sure about, John decided, was that Todd was alive. He would have known. He had such a strong connection to the Wraith, even when they were apart. If that life had been snuffed out he would have felt something, or rather he thought he would have sensed an absence. They were mated, and he was sure he would know if his mate was dead. Wishful thinking, perhaps, but very strong thinking, all the same..

‘He’s alive,’ he told the others.

‘There was a dart,’ said Lorne, uncertainly. ‘It could have been Todd, but how would we know? You said his tracker had been removed.’

‘To trap us, yes,’ said John. ‘But if there was a dart, who else could it have been?’

‘Well,’ said Rodney, ‘I don’t suppose we’ll be seeing him again. And after all, I don’t need his help any more.’ Satisfaction coloured his voice. 

A dart, and co-ordinates. Surely that was all Todd needed?

Back safely on Atlantis the debriefings and planning sessions seemed to take forever. But John found he didn’t even mind. He had to believe Todd was on Magenta, waiting for him. And if that was indeed the truth, then he would be leaving all this and should make sure everything was as organised as possible before he left.

He would not be returning. Lorne would be a competent replacement, liked and trusted by his team and by Sam. Nobody would know where he had gone; he trusted Teyla completely, and in any case he didn’t think the others would even know to question her.

He didn’t think he owed them anything. He had given his life so far to the US military and to the expedition. He had faced danger and death more often than most people would consider reasonable. He had nothing and no-one on Earth to tie him. But he should, as a matter of courtesy, leave everything in good order. 

His team? They had lost his commitment when they tried to kill Todd and to arrest him, and set off the tracker. Not Teyla – her, he still trusted, but he also trusted he would see her again some day or at least hear of her, and of her son. He hoped so. But if not, so be it. 

‘You are going soon?’ Teyla could read him like a book.

‘Soon, yes.’ He waited for condemnation which did not come, or for an attempt to dissuade him, which was also lacking.

‘I hope you find him, John,’ she said. ‘I hope everything goes well for you. For both of you.’

He realised she really meant it. Her Wraith connection let her view Todd in quite a different light from the total enmity in which the rest of the team held him. And perhaps, he thought, her own feelings at losing touch with her people let her understand how he felt.

‘Thank you,’ he said. ‘And thank you for everything you’ve done. I don’t need to tell you not to say anything.’

‘What would I say? I have no idea of Magenta’s co-ordinates. All I could do would be to speculate that for reasons of your own you have gone to follow the Wraith dart.’

‘You know my reasons.’

‘I do, or I think I do, but I have no proof to offer. Nothing anyone would believe. So I will say nothing, John.’

And with that he had to be content.

Most of what he needed was already on Magenta. He had a small bag packed and ready with last minute essentials: things like a toothbrush, though he knew he would run out of toothpaste fast, and his book, War and Peace, which he might even finish. He could even lend it to Todd and he laughed softly at the idea of a Wraith learning more about humans from a nineteenth century Russian. He didn’t think Todd would have even a book or whatever the Wraith used as toothbrushes. He had fled in his dart, stolen or commandeered, lucky to escape with his skin. 

He toyed with the idea of going on a visit, checking on Todd then coming back to Atlantis for a while. But that would simply increase the chances of detection. It would be better to make a sharp cut, to leave without warning, and never to return. 

He checked his bag again. His small book of codes and co-ordinates was safe in a side pocket. 

Would Atlantis chase after him to retrieve their jumper? He thought not. By the time they realised they had lost both their colonel and their equipment for good, he would be long gone into the void. He would be on a planet they knew nothing about, alongside his not-cows, his code book, and his Wraith.

‘D’you think they’ll follow the jumper?’ he asked Teyla, wanting a second opinion to bolster his belief. 

‘Why should they?’ she replied quickly. ‘They know you go out alone despite all the warnings and pleas. By the time they realise you aren’t coming back they’ll probably decide you’re dead, and the jumper with you.’

‘You could encourage those thoughts,’ he said.

He kept checking that Lorne knew exactly what to do.

‘Just in case I’m ever incapacitated,’ he explained.

‘Are you feeling particularly mortal?’ Lorne asked.

‘No more so than usual,’ John said, grinning. ‘It’s just – that affair with the Wraith queen made me realise we should all be ready to step into each other’s shoes at a moment’s notice.’

‘The military are all too good at putting skill sets in silos,’ Lorne agreed, and then shadowed John more closely than ever until John wanted to scream; but he was glad his second in command seemed to grasp everything. 

He watched Sam and Woolsey, feeling empathy for the irritation Sam felt for the close supervision and implied lack of total trust; but at the same time knowing Woolsey was shadowing Sam much as Lorne was shadowing him, John, and that if everything ever went pear-shaped there was an adequate back-up of expertise. 

Rodney and Radek seemed to be working closely. Rodney, too, had been shaken by their confrontation with the Wraith. John wouldn’t go so far as to think the Canadian thought himself expendable, but at least he appeared to be letting Radek into his thoughts.

Ronon would survive whoever was in charge. In fact, he rather thought Ronon would lead the team, in effect if not officially.

Teyla. Teyla would have her baby, safe in the care of Jennifer Keller. She would find her people. Some day, he would see her again. 

He made appointments, gave people assignments with suggestions that he would check in a few days’ time, arranged leisure activities such as team video watching. He was careful not to mention Todd, or even the Wraith in general. He shared the Atlantis-wide relief at the defeat of the Replicators. Some day, he hoped, he would hear how they fared after he had gone. 

He waited as long as he dared, balancing a need to make everything seem normal on Atlantis against a need to reach Todd. Then one day, one morning that was full of nothingness, or nothing that mattered, he took his bag of essentials and set his jumper on course for his planet. He said no goodbyes and he didn’t look back. 


	13. Brand New Day

John landed the jumper some way from what he thought of as his camp. Todd’s camp now, he supposed. Hoped. He cloaked the machine, partly from habit and partly from the idea that it wouldn’t be obvious to anyone who found Magenta either by an accidental search or via a routine investigation of the gate. It was, in any case, a long way from the gate. Not an impossible distance, but further, he thought, than anyone would explore or even send a M.A.L.P. 

He took his bag and set out to walk, slinging the strap over his shoulder. He had brought nothing else on this last trip. No animals, no ‘essentials’, nothing much other than a few personal items and a change of clothing. Once that wore out he hoped they’d be able to use the gate to trade, or maybe make fabric from one of the plants. He mused about feathers from the not chickens as decoration, or thin leather made from the hides of the not-cows. He had already stashed away a laptop with information on how to be self sufficient. He had not yet worked out how to be self sufficient with regard to power for the laptop but for now, the jumper would power it. Having to walk for a day to consult his ‘library’ would, he thought, make him more likely to work things out for himself before reaching for help. 

He stopped for lunch, eating a ration bar and wondering as he chewed whether he’d ever miss such bland fare, however nourishing. He assumed it was lunch. The sun was high in the sky. He had not yet made any kind of study of Magenta’s rotation or its days and nights. But that could wait, and the rhythm would soon be part of his subconscious. 

About late afternoon, at least by Atlantis time, he recognised the topography of his camp area. His heart speeded up. Would Todd be there? Had he saved the co-ordinates? Had it even been him in that dart? John had to think so. He would be devastated if Todd were not there, but would wait a while anyway, and by then it might be too late to return to Atlantis saying, ‘Look, I’m not dead, I didn’t do anything stupid,’ and expecting them to believe him.

The scenery was pastoral, swathes of not grass dotted with magenta bushes, set on gentle slopes that led down to an equally gentle river. He’d chosen carefully in the time he’d had available with no help from colleagues or machines.

And there was the first evidence that someone was here. An enclosed ‘field’, surrounded with curving fences formed from dead branches woven into shapes that reminded him of the breeding colony’s walls. In the field there were not-cows, some with babies frolicking while their parents cropped the not grass. Occasionally he glimpsed a not-rabbit peeping from a burrow at the foot of a magenta bush or even daring to skip between the feet of the baby not-cows. He wasn’t sure about calling them calves.

Still, he had to be cautious. Other Wraith could have found Magenta though why they would have decided to farm not-cows was not something he could imagine. Even so, Todd might not be alone. He wished he could truly sense Todd, not just have this stubborn belief... 

But it seemed he was there. He was sitting on a shelf of rock, shaded by a magenta bush, just outside the not-cow field. John was able to creep closer and crouch behind a similar outcrop to observe him. He told himself he was making sure he was alone, but knew deep down that he was just taking this moment outside time to admire his lover: his translucent hair with its rainbow highlights; his changing eyes with their cat-like pupils; his body, tall for a Wraith but somehow delicate like the cat his eyes suggested. Predatory, too, and graceful. 

He knew all this, but savoured the minutes he was able to look his fill. Once they were together things would move so fast, and life would run on at breakneck speed. He might have very little time for pure contemplation.

He stood, unable to keep his presence secret any longer. Todd looked up, perhaps alerted by the movement or perhaps aware that his mate was near.

‘You came,’ was all he said as he reached John’s side more rapidly than any creature should move.

‘Did you doubt it?’

‘Not exactly, but I thought they would stop you, or at least delay you. I knew you would have things to do so I did not expect you soon. Still, I told myself I would have to be strong if you never came. How long can you stay?’ By this time he had John in his arms and they were hugging as if their lives depended on their closeness.

‘I’m here to stay.’ John murmured into Todd’s tunic, not sure if he’d been heard or understood.

‘Your queen let you go?’

‘I’ve told you she isn’t a queen. But no, she doesn’t know I’m here.’ He recounted his preparations, raising his head and looking into Todd’s eyes. 

Todd gave a deep sigh. ‘So here we are, John Sheppard, my mate. Here we are and here we stay. We have to hope they do not find us, either your people or mine. We should make sure we are well hidden.’ 

And then they were kissing, and ripping each other’s clothes off, careless of the fact that they would get no more. John gave a passing thought to how long it would take to produce not-cow leather then shrugged as he surrendered to his lover’s embrace. And had him surrender in turn.

It was strange to be making love in an alien landscape, with no fear of interruption and no need to hurry because they were going nowhere any time soon, John reflected. He thrust into his partner’s willing body, at the same time burying his face in the hair that so fascinated him, breathing in its scent and immersing himself in the knowledge that this was his mate, this was his future. It was a future he welcomed with a sense of coming home and at the same time setting out on a great adventure.

They lay sated, naked and close, while the not-cows took no notice behind the fence. 

‘Are they enough?’ John hardly dared ask, but it had been a few weeks since their parting and Todd didn’t look hungry. 

‘Enough to sustain me? Definitely. And the little ones, the not-rabbits, are an extra luxury. I learnt to milk the mother not-cows, too, and the results are to my taste. To yours, I hope, as well.’ He produced a container, made from something like a helmet that John assumed had been in the dart. It was full of what looked like milk, though milk of a slightly alarming pinkish shade. 

‘The colour seems to be a result of the bushes,’ Todd said. ‘I could perhaps clear them from the enclosure...’

‘No need.’ John took a swig of milk and smiled. ‘It tastes good and the colour doesn’t affect the taste at all. I can pretend it’s a strawberry milkshake but the flavour isn’t quite right. It’s fine, though.’ He licked away a moustache of cream, trying to work out what the milk tasted like. More apple than strawberry, he decided. In any case, it was palatable and he would enjoy having that as well as water and camomile-type tea. Later, maybe, they could work out how to make things like pancakes. Though Todd would probably not be interested. The Wraith, he gathered, could ingest what humans regarded as food but it would not ‘sustain’ them. 

He showed Todd the gourds he’d found, the ones that were waterproof and would hold the milk. Todd laughed and happily transferred what was left of the liquid from the helmet. They had no means of refrigerating but they could milk freshly at need. The not-cows did not appear to mind, Todd said, though a couple of the babies had growled at him. 

Todd in turn showed John the shelter he’d built. It was under a rock outcrop and he’d hollowed into the earth, making a sort of cave. He’d built fence walls, like the ones that surrounded the field, and inside he’d built a bed; just a bench, really, covered with soft greenery and a topping of fabric from the dart. He hadn’t had time or opportunity to stock his escape vehicle, unlike John. But he’d made good use of what he had found. 

So they had a home. They had food and drink. They had a certain amount of clothing and so far the weather had always been mild. If there were storms in their future they had their cave house.

Best of all, they had each other.

John lay awake that night in Todd’s arms. He was incredibly happy but unable to sleep. The weirdness of it all kept battering at his mind. Back in the US, or in Afghanistan, or even in Antarctica... Even in the early days on Atlantis... If anyone had told him his future would be spent on an alien planet with an alien, a dangerous one at that... He sighed and composed himself for sleep.   
It would work out. 


	14. One upon a time

Teyla gripped Torren’s hand tightly. It was the boy’s first visit to the vast and bustling market on Solkaar. She had no intention of letting him get lost. Most of the traders, both buyers and sellers, were friendly, but a small child should not be alone in the sea of legs and coat tails. 

She looked at all the stalls, wondering if there was anything unusual or outstanding that might be of special interest to her people: her Athosian people or her Atlantis people. She had reached Solkaar by a complex route, gate after gate. She enjoyed the freedom and the power she got from exploring alone and then telling others what was available and where they could find it. 

There was nothing special here today, she thought, and Torren was beginning to drag on her hand. She found a seat at a stall selling drinks and snacks. A herb tea was just what she needed and she had no doubt a sweet pastry would raise her child’s flagging spirits.

As she sat, idly watching the crowd, she saw a figure with its back to her and felt an unaccountable jolt of surprise. The man, if it was a man, had long hair falling over a leather cape, and was apparently a native of one of the less industrialised worlds, judging by his clothing. So why was she sure she knew him?

Then he turned, and she gasped. She half rose, waving wildly, at the same time looking around. There was nobody else who knew her in sight and there were no Athosians or Atlanteans present. Apart, of course, from Torren and herself. And the man.

He looked around, too, and must have been as satisfied as her about their anonymity because he came across to the stall and sat opposite her, a smile quirking his mouth and adding a gleam to his eyes.

‘I said we would meet again,’ she said. ‘How are you? And how is...’ She stopped. It might be better if Torren didn’t hear that other name.

‘We’re well,’ came the reply. ‘I’ve shopped here once or twice, but really, we’re self sufficient, and the risk is rarely worthwhile. This time I was looking for needles.’ He pointed to a package in the small woven basket he was carrying. ‘We make thread, but needles of bone or wood are too big and clumsy for some applications.’

‘We did not think of needles,’ she said, and they grinned at each other. 

She introduced Torren, who decided to be shy and hid his face in her coat. 

‘And you are happy?’ she asked. She didn’t really need to. He was glowing with health. He’d lost the pallor that the cares of being the military leader on Atlantis had given him, and the frown lines had disappeared too. He was in good shape, neither too fat nor too slim, and she thought he must be practising with bantos rods at the very least. Or maybe not bantos, because there wouldn’t be the right woods. Something, anyway.

‘Very happy,’ he said, and she could see he was thinking of the years before, the years he’d spent worrying about everybody else’s safety and happiness rather than his own.

‘You don’t miss people?’ She couldn’t imagine living in such isolation.

‘I miss individuals, such as you,’ he said after a pause, ‘but not people in general, no. Whether he does or not, I’m not sure. He never says so.’ Like Teyla, he didn’t use a name. Torren was perhaps not listening, but others might. 

‘What do you do with yourselves all day?’ She wanted to kick herself the moment the words were out of her mouth, but still, she really wanted to know the answer, though she didn’t suppose he’d give her a complete account.

He smiled. ‘What do you think?’ he asked, laughter bubbling in his voice. ‘But seriously, we’re busy. We’re subsistence farmers, you know, and that takes up a lot of our time and energy. We’ve explored a little, and as you can imagine, we cleared the brambles. Though that's an annual task.' He held out an arm that was lightly scratched. 'I assume there’s been no interest in the gate?’ 

‘Not so far as I know,’ she said. ‘If anyone has noticed it they have put it way down their list of priorities. Or not even that; just on a list we might get to some day.’

‘Good,’ he said. 

He had a cup of tea while she brought him up to date on events big and small. He listened carefully; he would have plenty of news to take home. Then he got up, wrapped his cape around him, picked up his basket and brushed her cheek with his lips. And was gone.

‘Who was he?’ Torren looked up at her. ‘I think you said his name but I’ve forgotten it already.’

‘Don’t worry,’ she said, smiling down at her son, ‘it was just someone I used to know. A trader from a place a long way away.’

**Author's Note:**

> The graphics at the beginning and end, and between chapters, were made by me using a base of official show photographs and a lot of Photoshop.


End file.
